Although I was upset to leave Ohio, there was much to be done and seen within the next few days. We were going to stay with Mely’s aunt just outside of Chicago in Illinois for a few days, and then it was concert time in Wisconsin already. With no friends or family in Indiana or Michigan, we decided we’d pass on Michigan as a whole, and only drive through Indiana.
My idea of Indiana was essentially just fields of cornstalks, and that’s basically what it was. The state seemed bland and the people at the gas station seemed even blander. Maybe it was the state, maybe it was my attitude after leaving Ohio, or maybe it was my exhaustion haunting back, but I was easily agitated. Mely would ask a question and for some reason I couldn’t help but get snippy fast.
Our stop at the gas station was perfect. Not only did I get a few minutes to myself on my phone as Mely pumped gas, but my Twitter feed read something about Indiana. Of all states! And not only that, but it was my favorite band tweeting about Indiana, TONIGHT. I thought I was a day behind on my tweets. I thought I read wrong. But then I wasted even more of my data plan for my maps app to see just how far The All-American Rejects would be playing. Perfect. They weren’t too far off track from our boring highway drive.
Suddenly no longer agitated, I begged Mely to agree to watch them. She complied, even though our pockets were tight. I could tell she wanted to get to her family in Chicago. I didn’t blame her. We had only been seeing people I knew this entire time. And not only that, but I had made a lot of this trip about my sad, sad life (to which she had even agreed with me that my life sucked). So maybe it was my first hopeful attitude in a long time that allowed her to give me yet another moment in this trip dedicated to my decisions. Maybe she remembered how frequently I mentioned their lack of tour dates.
And that was what was so strange about this tour/date: it was hardly announced previously. They were only touring select colleges in random cities/states. It was just them, no opening acts. It felt like this tour didn’t even exist at all. There was hardly any proof anywhere, and especially not on Ticketmaster. I prayed that this was real. And that we were welcome, though we weren’t college students, let alone students of Wabash College, Indiana.
When we arrived, we had trouble finding the exact location of the venue. Were we looking for a theater? A gym (2 of the 2 times I’d previously seen AAR at colleges were both in gyms.)? The college map seemed upside-down to us and we couldn’t get our bearings straight. The only thing we saw were a bunch of drunk college kids BBQ-ing in high-waisted shorts and American flag-themed sunglasses. We were lost. I was intimidated. Until we saw a couple who resembled something closer to Mely and I and something farther from the students too excited for a throwback (Move Along was ’05, Gives You Hell was ’08). We all traced the gym until we found someone to help us out. There, we were told we could attend and it was just $20 even.
Mely and I were booted to wait outside the venue, while the couple was guest-listed inside. Outside, there was literally a line of ONE person. This lady was probably in her late 20’s and was a bigger AAR fan than me (which can say a lot). But Mely and I needed cash, and thankfully we saw a Chase right around the corner.
If there’s anything I love about my bank, is that I’ve hardly ever been too estranged from a Chase ATM. Even Mely commented on the frequency and location of Chase banks on our entire road trip. It’s never been an issue for me. While trying to find Wells Fargo’s have been surprisingly out of reach.
We rushed back to find that we were still number 2 and 3 in line. Clearly everyone at Wabash College was coming when doors opened, because they were too busy getting hammered until then. We were front and center. We were at the awkwardly-placed barricades. And this was happening very soon. Finally.
They played a good set, and a set that any dedicated fan would call “expected,” given that their audience are people who were not aware of the last album’s existence. We got some weird eye contact from all of the members, and maybe it was because I knew all the words. Mely even cursed at me since she only knew a good portion of the songs due to my tendency to over play them on the road. (It’s been noted by A LOT of people to the band that they’re good music to drive to, what can I say!) And I cursed at my phone, fittingly enough during “Gives You Hell,” due to Julian’s pristine time to text me and ask me how I am. I gave my phone the finger, and didn’t respond to him until well after the concert was over, since the band didn’t hang around to sign autographs or anything this time around.
“Why does he care?” I kept asking over and over again. He didn’t want to be with me. Our conversations since my meltdown in Syracuse were complacent and aloof. He didn’t care. I could tell he didn’t. And he was telling himself and me otherwise. Caught in the routine of talking to him (now once every couple of days), and left with my own affection for him, I still chatted with him that night. I tried to brag about how great this spontaneous concert was, but he couldn’t be jealous of this–no matter how fun and exciting my road trip was without his communication.
But thank goodness I still have concerts as my number 1 reliance toward happiness. Concerts have always been my hope, my saving grace, my passion. And thank goodness Julian could not take this concert away from me. No matter how much he nearly ruined it towards the end. Because AAR was still kickass. And I just had fun. And I finally felt that I didn’t need him. And I suddenly had a solid memory and accomplishment for Indiana. Without hardly even trying. This is a real road trip.
Unoriginal & Unfiltered: My Life 